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I am blessed that my Uncle George and Aunt Karen had the foresight to plan and foster a common purpose between those of us who inherited our family business. It fortified our relationships and allowed our company to thrive after Uncle George died.

Receiving an inheritance can lead to a lot of change. And the larger the bequest, the more change—sometimes too much in too short a time. These changes can create conflict and, in the worst case, alienation.

No matter the dollar amount, one of the best ways to equip family members for the shock of inheritance is to provide them with a common purpose. Think of a common purpose as a series of long-term shared goals that bind individuals together through teamwork, engagement, and reinforcement.

Principle #1: Develop a Common Purpose.

A common purpose can take many forms. No matter the form, though, having a common purpose serves as the training ground for personal interaction and builds the solid foundation for functional, cooperative behavior. In families it creates respect, a sense of belonging, worthiness, and capability. It establishes position within the family structure.

No matter your net worth, having a common purpose can bring your family closer together. First, identify interests that everyone has in common, then discern the intent behind them, and have consistent and regular get-togethers that center around this purpose.

Read the full story about how Uncle George developed our family’s common purpose, and all the stories that inspired The Greatest Gift: 9 Principles for the Transfer of Your Legacy Along with Your Wealth.

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Develop a Common Purpose

Principle #1: Develop a Common Purpose

No matter the dollar amount, one of the best ways to equip family members for the shock of inheritance is to provide them with a common purpose. Think of a common purpose as a series of long-term shared goals that bind individuals together through teamwork, engagement, and reinforcement.

Read more

Share Your Story

Principle #2: Share Your Story

However you do it, capturing your story will help your descendants know their story, their roots. You have a story, so tell it. And tell it often. Also, share what you’re most proud of.

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Forge Traditions

Principle #3: Forge Traditions

We all have a need to belong and to know that we are enough. It’s part of being human. For parents and grandparents, it’s a challenge to instill this confidence in our children—that they, too, belong and are enough, that they are unique, and that we treasure them because of and despite their strengths, weaknesses, successes, and failures.

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