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Mark Walsh was distraught when his parents told him he was not going to be the trustee of the tremendous family fortune. He stopped talking to his mom and dad. This was rare for the Walsh’s. They are a family that gathers for Sunday Dinner each week.

As the oldest of four children, Mark expected he would run the family money.
Over time, and with a lot of effort and emotional conversations, the relationship was mended.

The anxiety and suspicion Mark initially felt—along with the conflict these emotions caused—were difficult for everyone to endure. But Steve and Joanne had the hardest task. De-escalating and resolving Mark’s negative feelings could not have been settled by anyone but them.

I often wonder how different the relationships between the Walsh children would have been if Steve and Joanne had not communicated their choices during their lifetime. Mark’s feelings of insecurity, of others being favored over him, and his bitterness would have been hard to reverse. His relationship with his sisters—especially the two asked to serve as trustees—would likely have been tarnished forever.

Transparent communication during your lifetime is a blessing. Without it, there are too many unknowns.

Don’t leave it to your heirs to read between the lines to how you came to decide things, the fiduciaries you named, or how you value them as individuals.

The saying is true: information is power. Sharing information is a tremendous gift you can give during your lifetime. But if you’re unable or unwilling to communicate what is important, your family can prepare for a bumpy ride when it comes to the transition of wealth someday.

Principle #4: Define Roles.

Read the full story about the Walsh’s and all the other stories that inspired The Greatest Gift: 9 Principles for the Transfer of Your Legacy Along with Your Wealth.

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