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An inheritor of a fourth-generation family business once told me, “Imagine going through life with people thinking they know who you are because of your last name . . .”

His family name is known throughout the world. Their name is on buildings. Movies have been made about his relatives.

Until this conversation, I didn’t fully appreciate the difficulty of defining oneself and shaping an individual personality when being raised in a wealthy and notable family.

His comment gave me a deep sense of empathy for the burden he has carried.

His motivation for starting several businesses seems to have come from a need to prove to others that he is smart and capable—not just an heir to a fortune.

Every person has value that goes well beyond their last name, their family business, or the amount of money on their balance sheet.

Principle #6 is Nurture Independence.

Claudia Wickham thought it was her destiny to work at the family landscaping and snow removal company. She didn’t feel that she had much choice after college, except to join the family business. What she didn’t realize was that it would virtually destroy her life. The stress of running the business with her father and his dysfunctional partners led to a failed marriage and substantial health problems.

Too often, I have observed children taking their first job at the family company out of convenience. They were not encouraged to seek their own passions before making an informed decision to join the family business.

Watching children struggle, and sometimes fail at their first job is difficult, but it is critical that parents avoid the trap of the “family business safety net”.

Big dividends come from families that spend as much time on the softer, personal character-building priorities and non-financial inheritance topics as they spend on tax planning, legal structuring, and investment management decisions.

Read Claudia’s whole story and all the other stories that inspired The Greatest Gift: 9 Principles for the Transfer of Your Legacy Along with Your Wealth.

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