Principle #9: Overcommunicate

Fear is a wicked emotion. In the context of family relationships, it is the opposite of feeling secure and grounded. Fear of not having enough, not belonging, or not being treated fairly are common reactions when parents die without communicating their plans and wishes.

John Garcia was killed in a hit-and-run while biking on a rural road near the coast of California. By the time some surfers passed by and saw the body, it was too late to save him.

The Garcia’s had four children, two from prior marriages and two together.
A few years after John’s death, his daughter from his first marriage, Sharon began questioning the fairness of the structure of the assets left behind.

As time went on, Sharon became abrasive toward her stepmom, hurling insults such as, “She’s spending my inheritance!” and “She has no right to my father’s assets!” and, “Dad would not have wanted things to happen this way.”

Principle #9: Overcommunicate.

Regardless of the presence of some difficult personalities and complex family dynamics, it’s always better to address fears while both parents are still living. Knowing and naming a conflict while everyone is living prepares families to diffuse conflicts after the death of a parent.

The Garcias didn’t have the opportunity to establish family meetings where John and Theresa could communicate their vision for the family’s wealth. Had they done so, it might have allowed everyone to feel grounded.

Read the full story about the Garcia’s and others that inspired The Greatest Gift: 9 Principles for the Transfer of Your Legacy Along with Your Wealth.